Dreamweaver

2 Oct

I have a recurring dream. It happens occasionally, and not always EXACTLY the same way, but the context is the same.

I dream frequently that I am enrolled in college, I’ve been skipping a particular class, and I have to make it to that class or I won’t graduate on time. So, I can’t remember where the class is, of course, and there may or may not be an exam.

AND I’m always ALWAYS late. Pants are optional.

It’s a horrifying dream and I think it links to my insecurities. Intellectual insecurities. I am a huge fan of NOT wearing pants, though. So my physical insecurities are minor. It’s all of YOU who have an issue with me going pantsless – not I. I am seriously hard-core in the NO PANTS EVER department. I eschew wearing pants as often as I can.

Anyway, moving on. Isn’t this weird? Years after I’ve graduated, I am still feeling inadequate and like I am just barely making it though life and it manifests itself in my psyche in school.

And the subject is always science. I would think it would be math, because I seriously HATED math classes, but no – science. But probably because you cannot BS your way in science class. You have to memorize shit, and yeah well, I would fail. As a matter of fact, I think I DID fail a basic Biology class in my first two years of college – because I was at McDonald’s instead of class.

Oh well. I wish I’d have more dreams of me winning American Idol, those are great dreams. And strangely in all those dreams I am wearing pants. YOu would think I’d eschew pants to skew the votes in my favor but no – I always win in those dreams due to my spectacular rendition of Heart’s Barracuda. With pants on.

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